Couldn't see the forest for the trees

[azekeil]

Tonight has been a watershed for me. It followed on from a day of productive DIY on both mine and kissycat1000's houses - with much appreciated help from ev1ldonut. For the first time in ages I was able to talk to kissycat1000 as I had a bath after she helped me put up a new Jordan-proof curtain rail in his bedroom. What I realised is that I've been expending all of my efforts on work and had nothing left to give kissycat1000, at this time when I need to work together with her after recent events. The reason I was finding I needed so much time to myself was because I needed time where no demands were being made of me, where I could get my head straight. It's so obvious now, of course.

Anyway, I seem to have got over the hump now, and am able to be much more affectionate and attentive towards kissycat1000, which is a great relief to both of us, and to ev1ldonut too I'm sure.

During this time I've been doing a lot of thinking - taking stock of my life. Some areas are lacking, but nothing that time won't sort out. Questioning the finer details of some of the fundamental choices kissycat1000 and I have made - for example, to live apart; the impact that has on our relationship(s) and finding that there was no real accepted social model for our setup now. When we visit each other, are we dating or just spending time together, or being a family? When do we get time to ourselves? Should we be focussed solely on each other or just 'be' in each other's company? How do our external relationships affect our own relationship?

After all this reflection, I think I'm pretty happy with the big picture, it's just time to start working on some of the details. Something I've put off my whole life. So much so I'm not entirely sure I know where to start...

Comments

[ev1ldonut.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is a relief for me to hear too. :)
I worry about you... *hugs*

[sebastian-lux.livejournal.com]

Very best of luck on your new endevour!

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Which reminds me... when did you say those drinks were?

[sebastian-lux.livejournal.com]

End of the month, probably on Saturday 29th and my birthday is on the 31st. Plan is to go to the 2 Pigs in town and drink whiskey until I fall over, get bored or throw up! Unless anyone has a better idea?!?! Obviously, bring people with you.

[the-mendicant.livejournal.com]

i'm glad you're starting to pull the loose threads together again. I gues we've all been in a mess for the last several months, here's to quieter times all round xx

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

So much so I'm not entirely sure I know where to start...

With what works best for you and yours?

... until I fall over, get bored or throw up!

[sacha37.livejournal.com]

Early night then? ;)

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Well I was going to suggest having a BBQ at mine first, but then I realised that people would want to drink and we'd never get to the pub... but if that's not a bad thing then let's have a BBQ! Let me know roughly how many there'll be though, and tell them to bring their own food and booze :)

Re: ... until I fall over, get bored or throw up!

[sebastian-lux.livejournal.com]

Have a care sir, less you risk my challenging you to a whiskey drinking contest which I feel sure that I shall win! :-)

[sebastian-lux.livejournal.com]

Not a bad idea! I'll chat to you about it tonight. Can't imagine there will be many though. I do know zeke_hubris was planning on coming over though.