Hmm..

[azekeil]

Just had a stilted conversation with my mother about polyamoury amongst other things, after she read my previous post. As I was at work this was made somewhat more difficult, and somewhat easier too. She was curious to know some more of the ins and outs (if you'll pardon the pun) of the situation.

She again dismissed it as a phase, which I replied to with a sarcastic remark. This was all taken good-naturedly.

She might not accept it but she is at least open to it. How many of you can say that about your mothers? My father, along with his opinionated English-teaching wife, is a whole other kettle of fish though.

Comments

[sarcaustik.livejournal.com]

I confessed to my mum while in hospital (under the influence of morphine) that I had two mutually aware boyfriends, and she took it remarkably well. I suspect the knowledge that I've done things with women would be too much, however.

[ex-serenejo.livejournal.com]

My mother is more okay with my being poly than with my being queer. It's okay with me, because she treats all my partners, and my ex, really well.

[lilitufire.livejournal.com]

Hello, wandered in from the poly community... the last post was interesting, am going to friend you so I can follow, just so you know?

*thinking*....

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Likewise :)

I'll try to read a few recent posts when I get the chance (which won't be for a little while)..

[redcountess]

I am, and have always been, completely honest with my mother about my personal life. It's hard for her to understand that polyamory is *not* cheating, especially as my father cheated on her and she wants the best for me, and has been concerned that my SO and I have had some dramas in recent months to do with the introduction of an OSO for him. But while she doesn't approve, she has given her blessing for our primary relationship. Funnily enough, once I explained to her that I intend on having an OSO of my own, she didn't worry about it so much ;-)

[reddragdiva]

With my parents coming over to the UK for my wedding to redcountess, how to explain arkady to them was an interesting conundrum. Eventually I just told my mum on the phone the day before ("I have a girlfriend too. Yes, this is fine with all involved. She's the best man, actually.") and it was fine - "well, you've always been different, David ..."

My dad basically stuck his head in the sand, but that's less hassle so that's fine by me ;-)

And both were perfectly nice to arkady and got along fine with her too.

[redcountess]

so much for me not mentioning names ;-P

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

It's alright, I've seen all the posts :p :)

[arkady.livejournal.com]

Heh - I'd done my best to try and be discreet too!

[gerald_duck]

When I was 20, I made a mistake.

She was away on holiday for a fortnight. I had the flat to myself. She'd said it was OK if I had one or two friends visit, so my two boyfriends stayed for one week each.

Only one bed got slept in. She wasn't at all happy - though the main problem was that she quite simply didn't believe me that they each knew about the other.

It's not been discussed since. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

[diffrentcolours]

My parents know and condone my lifestyle. Then again, I'm not on polyamory...

honesty with parents

[skitten.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how much mroe my parents can handle at the moment... *lol*

I was completely honest that my love used to live with a man for ten years and is now with a woman...

I was completely honest about being wiccan, despite being raised Christian....

I don't think they can handle the fact that I have a long-distance secondary (very secondary but secondary nonetheless...) relationship- I think my mom would freak....
8---->

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

I'm very, very lucky with my parents.

My dad's an old hippy and said somethng that amounted to 'Yeah, yeah, why is it kids always think they've reinvented sex.'

My mum, bless her, doesn't really *understand* it and keeps asking me if I wouldn't be *happier* if I stuck to just one, but accepts it completely.

My stepdad doesn't know as far as I'm aware, unless my mum's told him. I don't know how he'd deal with it at all; I imagine he'd either surprise me and cope or disapprove completely. He comes from a very old-fashioned generation..

(And waht is it about English teachers thinkng they know it all. Mine were just as bad, with one exception.)

[arkady.livejournal.com]

I haven't told either of my parents; but that's more to do with the family situation than whether or not I think they'd handle it OK.

One of my sisters is aware that I'm involved in a polyamorous V; but she seems to feel that if it makes me happy, there's nothing wrong with it. She's the only member of the family I am currently in contact and on speaking terms with these days, so as far as I'm concerned her opinion is more important than that of my parents' anyway.

[annedecory.livejournal.com]

My parents know. I was in a triad for 3 years. I have two daughters. One bio, one non-bio. It was a fight to get them to accept the idea that non-bio daughter was my daughter as far as I was concerned. But, I prevailed. And once she was born, it didn't matter anymore.

They don't quite get it (or at least my Mom doesn't). She can't quite get over the idea that it's still cheating somehow. Just like I've had a difficult time explaining to her why I deplore "cheating" but not "poly". (Duh, honesty!)

But, she's getting there. I'm also out as being bi. She has an easier time with that one.

[starmama.livejournal.com]

my parents know that i am poly and queer. it doesn't get discussed. i brought my girlfriend to a family gathering when she visited last summer (she lives 1500 miles away). my mom went to great pains to introduce her to everyone as my "friend, who lives in wisconsin with her husband and four kids"...as if by saying all of that, nobody would even THINK she might be in a relationship with me. of course all of my family smiled & nodded. later several of them (mostly in my own generation) came up to me and told me how nice they thought it was that i had someone so lovely in my life. oh well.

i don't have any "primaries" which i think makes it a bit easier, since i'm less likely to have anybody i'm dying to take to mom's house for the holidays or anything like that.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I kind of told my mother this, but she was in mid gush about all her men and didn't notice. She seems to have inherited it from me :/

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

She inherited it from you? Well that's one for the theorists.. ;)

didn't you know?

[kijeren.livejournal.com]

it's just like insanity...

you get it from your kids...

*grin*

[tavalon.livejournal.com]

Well, my mother died when I was a child. However, I have a story to relate about my future mother-in-law (though that title isn't quite accurate as our government defines marriage as one woman and one man). When I was first invited over to meet her she was already aware of the strange way her son was handling his relationships - after all, he already had a wife and child and now me. Oh, and his wife had a boyfriend who was also over that day to meet the family.

Anyway, shortly into the conversation, it became apparent that his mother was fishing for another grandchild and that I was the prospective mommy! So, his mom was completely accepting and has remained so. She was very pleased the other day when we told her that we were all going to be moving in together. She was hopeful that we would be moving a little closer to her house.

I wonder if her acceptance is related to having been a hippie in the sixties?

I came out

[zhaneel69.livejournal.com]

immediately. I never kept it from them. They at first thought it was a response to getting out of a serious and hurtful relationship. They assumed I'd become normal after a while.

When I got engaged, they ask if that meant I would stop sleeping with other men when I got married. Nope. They kinda dealt with that.

At this point they know, ask about my b/fs and talk to me about it. They have had dinner with my major secondary and enjoyed it. They are still a little wierd about it and I have to be able to bring a secondary to a family event because usually a fight come out. My parents are okay with it, but they aren't okay with me "showing off." And because most of the extended family doesn't know, they don't want to deal with a family event turning into a political arena. We are woking on it.

Zhaneel

[ellewolf.livejournal.com]

lol my mom is much the same way O.O she thinks it and my being activly into the D/s/S/m lifestyles(and im pansexual/bi lol)are phases..I never hid it from her and though im not openly telling the rest of the family i dont think they'd have a huge problem with it.I find it amusing in truth because i feel very luck to have atlest one parent who loves me even though im the "BlackSheep"...my father's not in my life and hasnt been for some time but he's very anti-all my life choices or would be if he knew.

[randxx.livejournal.com]

We have a parent visiting right now, and have so far elected not to say anything.

I'll be surprised if we can go the 5 days without really being revealed. So far:

* the very curious girl at the grocery store, who constantly remarks about how the 3 of us are always together, prompted the parent to joke, "Does she think you are an item or something? haha"

* the parent knocked on our door at 730a this morning, causing us to scramble to find clothes. How she missed the 3rd running past the door to the bathroom, clothes in hand, will remain a mystery.

* I'm reading "Three in Love" and won't generally be hiding it.

Of course, this parent isn't my parent, and though I think it would just be easier to come out, I'll respect the current decision. We'll see how much courage I really have in another month or two when one of *my* parents visits.

:-)

[wildeabandon.livejournal.com]

As a data-point, whilst my parents find it hard to understand my relationship set-up on an emotional level, they understand it on an intellectual one. They've met John & Giolla, and like them both, and they ask me how Denny's doing every time I speak to them...

[randxx.livejournal.com]

actually, my parents, who think our third is just a "housemate" needing a place to live during duress (divorce) ask about her every time. they're unfailingly polite, but it's gonna hurt them awful bad when (if?) I tell 'em.

[moizissimo.livejournal.com]

I never bothered lying. My mom was curious if I was sleeping with a girlfriend, and I told her. My parents also know I purchased a waist-training corset a few years back, and I was into that for a while. They know that I attend BDSM club nights, and they took me to my first strip club :) They know that my first serious relationship was a (rather quickly) failed triad.

They may not be into these things themselves, but they're willing to go with me and experience things (well, some things), and accept me as I am. They rock :)

The parents of one of my friends regularly go with us to said BDSM club and various play parties, and even cheer on the person being dom that evening. It's really quite nice to have a community of friends and family that are so accepting.

[nomilomi.livejournal.com]

My mom was a biker in her younger days, and I've heard stories of winning Wet T-shirt contests in which her shirt stayed perfectly dry. I suppose that's why when I mention or hint at some of the more unusual hobbies, activities, and friends of mine, she just says "like mother like daughter" or something along those lines. Never specifically opened up about being poly, but I have a feeling she would have much the same reaction there, too. She's very respectful of the fact that it's my life and what I choose to do with it is in my hands, as long as it makes me happy.

Meow,
Nomi

Heh.

[goddesssnoweh.livejournal.com]

Well, you know all about my mother.

I do plan on telling her about the submission contract between me and Taz, how she takes it, or if she accepts it or not is her problem really.

followed the link from Plolamory...

[kijeren.livejournal.com]

My mom is amazingly understanding.

I came out to her as bi when I was 17 (had already been living away from home for over a year) and her response was "well, yes, we had kinda figured that".

As far as poly goes.. she understands. She's always been wonderfully accepting of me.

My mom rocks.