Ponderings

[azekeil]

This is the entry I said I was going to make and let bex_sgs know about. It was going to be about how it was lovely at the party to be reminded of what socialising with friends felt like and how I hoped it had been a turning point for me to get out of this hermitage I've sort of made for myself.

I'm not what most people would think of as a social creature; I do definitely need some time away from others to 'recharge'. Even so, I do definitely need social interaction with friends to keep me sane.

When I was living with chocojon my social life was handed to me on a plate. Literally, people would come around and I could socialise with them by going downstairs, or not and stay in my room if I chose. Moving up to Cheltenham I knew was going to be harder for me. I've not done too badly but I still find my life is very busy and I just don't have time to go out and socialise, or find I don't want to, or make the effort to. I'm not quite sure which of those it is; maybe it's a bit of all of them.

I think I've been concentrating on my new job, which is nice but I'm not quite getting the recognition I want just yet. I know I was hired to do one job and I've sort of gone a little sideways to do another but I'm getting pissed off being expected to do things like laptop and desktop builds which takes me away from the more skilled work I'd much rather be doing. I know it's a small company mentality but I think I need to start showing I have a little weight to throw around and command some respect. A fine line to tread.

Anyway, that wasn't really what this post was going to be about, but those have been my recent thoughts.

Another thought along the same lines is that I've met people who seem to focus on who they are and their job comes second; it's just something to support who they are. I know I place a good deal of importance in my job; to me it's a career and it's enjoyable and I can advance if I do things right. But I do realise I'm concentrating on it to the expense of who I am - the typical soul-draining experience anyone a little alternative experiences in the 9-5 drudgery.

I tend to be one of these people who can only work on one thing at once which has been detrimental to my relationship with kissycat1000 at times. I've calmed down on the job front now which has meant things have improved for kissycat1000 and I but I think I need to push a little more until I'm happier with where I'm at job-wise and then look to find a more regular social life.

I think that's quite enough blithering for now.

Comments

[the-mendicant.livejournal.com]

Blither away, it helps you and it lets the rest of us know what's going on.

Everything you are feeling is quite 'normal' (can that word be applied to your lifestyle?) and getting the balence right between personal and public life is something we all have to come to terms with. By asserting your wishes in this area, you at least have an advantage over those who don't know how to, or worse, don't know the difference!

Hugs

[ev1ldonut.livejournal.com]

Right, now I've got a bit more time, I can comment. :)

my social life was handed to me on a plate
It's kind of a new experience for me, I was so used to having to make an active effort to go and find a social life (no-one ever wanted to come to my place, understandably with him there to make them feel so unwelcome). Now of course, liveing in Fortress Geek, I find everyone coming to me, which is nice, but I think I may be beginning to get a little complacent about it, taking it for granted a little, and I don't like that. :/

I tend to be one of these people who can only work on one thing at once
I think I have the opposite problem. I tend to try and take on board everything all at once, without realising when I've reached and passed the point where it's too much to cope with. I think this may have been apparent of late, where my emotional resilience has been less than outstanding, and I've nearly broken a couple of times. :/ Things are looking brighter at the moment though, thankfully. :)

I know you've been supportive behind the scenes, thank you. :) *hug*

Do you fancy coming to poker next Tuesday? Let kissycat1000 and daemongirl have a girly night? (unless they really want to come along as well). Call it a bit of a lads night (even though there may be a woman or two present) ;)

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Could do.. let's play it by ear :)

[ev1ldonut.livejournal.com]

*nodnod*
arrrr, can do lad ;)