Something that makes me increasingly mad.

[azekeil]

Back when I was a bright-eyed youth (and easily influenceable), I'd look up to the towers of intellectual might that were my elders and betters (usually co-workers/bosses/mentors and the like). I'd banter with them, trying not to annoy them with too many n00b questions but seeking to gain some of their knowledge through being in their proximity. A number of times the phrase "it's not as simple as that" came up in conversation in relation to my summary of a particular problem or area of technology.

At the time, this made me doubt myself and my ability to learn and understand the problems in question. This fear inhibited my confidence, and ultimately disempowered me.

Now, it just makes me mad when I realise I'd been right all along. Perhaps I simply hadn't expressed myself well enough, but for all those of you out there in a position of higher knowledge, please, never say this to someone who is genuinely trying to acquire clue. That one phrase alone can do far more harm than it seems.

Comments

[anti-girl.livejournal.com]

Its amazing how little things stick with you for so long. People really don't realise how easy it is to fuck someone up or simple engrain something so deeply in their head just by the use of one little phrase.
there a few from my past which to this day still catch me out so I know what you mean.
At least you can use this when passing on your knowledge to other people and be more sensitive andhopefullymore helpfuls o they don't have the same problems you did.

alsoyouarelovelykthxbai
x

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

At least, yeah. But they have to wade through reams of my shite to dig out the one or two gems that are only there through sheer statistics (think monkeys and typewriters)..

I just can't see it happening somehow ;)

also*hugs*

Sometimes things just aren't that simple...

[sepheri.livejournal.com]

Consider that it might be the fault of the person you are seeking knowledge from that they don't have the ability to explain things fully.
I get asked to explain really complicated abstract ideas sometimes when people ask me about Thelema or the OTO and its not so much that I don't want to give them a full explanation or that I think they are incapable of understanding whatever it is I have to say its just that something aren't so easily explained. Somethings you learn can can't be taught.
I know thats not quite what you are describing here and sometimes you are right, things are far simpler than people make them out to be but don't assume the fault it with you when people said that too you.

Also, I have found that sometimes when people try to make out that things are more complicated than you realise its just because they don't understand it themselves and they are trying to cover up their own ignorance.

Re: Sometimes things just aren't that simple...

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Yes. In retrospect, it was about 50/50 that people were covering up their own ignorance vs. simply not having time/ability/being able to explain it themselves.

If I can't explain something I'll make sure the person I'm talking to understands it's a failing on my part, not theirs. I think that's the key difference.

Re: Sometimes things just aren't that simple...

[sepheri.livejournal.com]

Ok, I get you now.
I was worried about all the people I had failed to explain things to and whether I had inadvertently put them down but I do try to make sure that they realise that I am not attempting to fob them off.

[blutakk.livejournal.com]

I can certainly relate to this through my early days of working, which had me working out things the slow and hard way.
Now I'm the 'trainer' as it were, but I do question myself about how I come across......especially when you have trainee's that ask the same questions over and over, every now and then.

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Yes, in that situation human nature will generally make you assume that the other person is dumb for not understanding it the first time, but then you have to wonder if you're explaining it badly as well, if it's not just one person (or if they ask the similar questions repeatedly).

[sepheri.livejournal.com]

I would always assume it was my fault first, whether I was the trainer or the trainee :p

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

If I'm not thinking too hard about it, I'd probably assume it was the trainee's fault. If I was, then I'd consider carefully if they're being dumb or if I'm being crap.

Usually as the trainee I tend to be the other way around - I used to assume it was myself at fault. I think part of the lesson I have learned is that it's not always good to assume that, and to have more confidence in my knowledge and abilities.

[oholiab.livejournal.com]

I prefer the phrase "It's not as complicated as that" simply because if it is then you're asking the wrong person.

I don't do complicated. I do simple and I do confusing and I do just plain weird, but complicated is boring. I CAN do complicated, but it's just so much effort.

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Well you've just done confusing, can you simplify that? (argh!)

[nina321.livejournal.com]

Heh,
I think someone would have serious words with me if I ever used that phrase at work, although I have had more senior members of staff (or members of staff who thought they were more senior [and actually turned out to be less senior {yes that's possible (ooh, nested brackets!)}]) use the line on me.

You're right. Frigging annoying.

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

You can tell you're a maths geek :p *ducks*

(still I guess it's not that simple... *ducks again*)

[anti-girl.livejournal.com]

completely off topic I do apologise. But I remember you said you bought a new matress recently and I was just wondering what you have done with your old one. I need a double mattress super cheap/free asap and was just wondering if you still had it around if I could theive/buy it from you.
*looooooove*
x

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

The new bed hasn't arrived as yet, so I still need it at the moment!

The mattress itself was a cheap one from IKEA a few years ago, and the springs are pressing through now. I wouldn't recommend it for sleeping on every night unless you have some sort of soft blanket to insulate you from the springs.

I was planning to hang on to it for use by visitors etc as it's better than the floor..

If you still want it you can have it, but you may do better looking on FreeCycle or similar..

[thalinoviel.livejournal.com]

Just as a matter of interest, how do you feel about "Broadly, yes, but its actually a bit more complicated than that"?

[azekeil.livejournal.com]

Well that's positive; at least I would know I was on the right lines. I'd feel encouraged to follow through, whereas with "It's not as simple as that" just feels completely dismissive and discouraging.

Does that make sense?